Fowl Play
by Py687
Summary: A series of Banjo-Kazooie oneshots, there will be a planned twenty short stories.
1. Sing, Sing, Sing

**Yeah, it's not my _best_ story, but then again...considering it's my first "oneshot..." Well, with that taken into consideration, you've gotta give me (at least) credit for effort/trying. Of course, before you're so quick to judge, maybe you readers should just read my story. How 'bout that, huh?**

**This is my first "oneshot," and I hope you reviewers will be kind (although that's not always a given). I don't care much if you flame - I mean, it increases the number of reviews, doesn't it? - but keep in mind that I was, more or less, bored of writing about ****Escape**** (yeah, go check it out right now). And of course, I love this series...although I only have the second video game (Banjo-Tooie)... Oh, and the first chapter also shares a title with a great jazz tune (called, "Sing, Sing, Sing")! I highly recommend learning from the drum solo in the beginning (depending on which band played it); it might help with playing rhythms during a jazz solo. Oh, and the story's changed so that they are a _series_ of oneshots. **

* * *

Sing, Sing, Sing

Kazooie, a red-crested breegull, had no idea her scheme would result in such an awry way. Just as she started to retort and give excuses – Kazooie's specialties – her partner just gave a snort. And another one. Within seconds, it had developed into a full-fledged guffaw. And Kazooie was only frustrated once again, recalling the past events of the last few days; the images flashed at a fast pace in her mind…

* * *

It had all started when Banjo, a simple brown bear who, unwillingly, was dragged into several adventures and succeeded in defeating Gruntilda the Witch – twice, mind you readers – decided he had had enough of exploring. Sure, the bird had complained all day, claiming "the idea is stupid and you know it, moron!" However, Banjo would not be deterred so easily; if he could face Grunty, Kazooie was no problem.

It turned out Kazooie was far more dangerous than Grunty could ever be.

Banjo, the "Bear in the Yellow Shorts," had chosen to start a band.

Normally that would not have been a problem, but in fact, Banjo had _insisted_ it be a rock band. Kazooie laughed at the prospect; Banjo would be the laughingstock of the Isle o' Hags for weeks! Yet, despite her rude exterior, Kazooie was afraid Banjo would embarrass himself too much…and her with him. Therefore, she set out on trying to convince her best friend to ditch the idea. She came up with all kinds of excuses, ranging from "you can't play a _banjo_ in a _rock_ band, idiot" to "shut the Grunty up; you have no idea who you'll be messing with Mumbo joins you." In the end, Kazooie lost her first oral battle.

Proving to be more trouble than before, Kazooie had set out from Banjo's backpack, content with finding Humba Wumba into talking some sense into Banjo. But it turned out she was playing the drums.

In the end, Kazooie concocted a plan. It would involve coloured critters…many colour_ful_ critters…

* * *

On the night of their debut, Banjo asked everyone to be sure his or her equipment was set and ready to go. Mumbo had his microphone on; Humba Wumba's drumming set had its cymbals replaced; Bottles checked to make sure his clipboard (he was the manager) was yellow; Banjo started tuning his banjo, and then messed it up the way players in rock bands were supposed to. Everyone gave a thumbs-up, and the curtains withdrew.

The front crowd snickered, while the audience in the back began hooting uncontrollably. Bottles wet his pants, and hid behind the stage.

The crew's costume, consisting of a suit in red feathers from Kazooie's shedding last month, gave a strikingly similar appearance to the rare breegull herself.

Not far off (in fact, sitting in the second row) was Kazooie; she first thought the four beings were mocking their friend, in such a way that she would never be able to live it down. Then she comforted herself by thinking the four were just far too stupid and dumb to have thought up this humiliating event.

As the band began to play their first song, titled _Fire & Hail Summits_, Kazooie blew a silent whistle, and tens of tens of Jinjos popped up around the scene – next to the stage background, through the drums, sitting atop the metal poles on the stage – and chaos ensued. Or so Kazooie had hoped…

Unfortunately (for her), the Jinjo king had believed his subjects would be a grand addition to the rock band, and set them to practice the songs and acts. Thus, when the Jinjos showed up, the music was only better – much to Kazooie's annoyance.

* * *

Kazooie heaved a heavy sigh, and joined the brown bear in the yellow shorts in his crazy shenanigans. Bottles and Mumbo Jumbo opened two cans of soda each, handed two to the duo (bear and bird, that is), and all four cheered. Humba Wumba just sat in front of the newly bought television, marveling at its magical, wondrous abilities.

That night, laughter ruled Bottles' burrow.

* * *

**Hey look, it wasn't that bad! See? I mean, it's got a Flesch-Kincaid Reading Grade of about 7.2... Well, just read and review please. Thanks for scanning through my oneshot...**


	2. In the Mood

**Here's my next chapter; its name is also the title of an actual(ly good) jazz song. Read along, people; but whatever you do, don't judge the story before you're done...**

* * *

In the Mood

"Come on, Banjo…"

"No, Kazooie."

"Come on, Banjo…" A little more suggestive.

"No, Kazooie…" A little more forceful.

"Banjo, please! I can't take it any more!" Desperate, almost begging.

"Kazooie, I don't think we should. My sister will be coming home in a few hours…" Hesitatingly, like he _wants _to do it.

"That's plenty of time, Banjo. Please! Besides, we could do it at someone else's house…" Kazooie, unable to withstand it, flapped around Banjo's house crazily.

"All right, Kazooie! Just… get in." Banjo makes a small gesture.

"Yes! I knew you'd come through for me, buddy." Kazooie gently gets in. A squishing sound occurs. "Ah, so comfy…"

"You don't have to say that every time you get in it!"

"I don't!"

"Yeah, well… ugh!" Banjo groans as hefts it up. "Lose some weight!"

"I'm skinny enough. Hey, what's this?" Searches through it. "Aw, Banjo! You have lice in here… I'm getting out!" Kazooie does so.

"But _you_ wanted to do it! Besides, you're the only one who gets in it."

"Well, I'll walk there. It won't kill me."

"I knew we should have gotten the phone. It was on sale!"

"It was a cheap, no-good knockoff! Besides, you could go for a walk."

"Sitting in there all day doesn't make you skinnier, Kazooie."

With a sigh, Banjo puts down his backpack: no need to bring extra weight along. Kazooie bolts out the door, heading for Bottles' house. Banjo jogs after her, knowing they will lose yet again in the card game they would be playing.

* * *

**Hmm? How was it? Oh, why don't you tell me in a review? Thanks!**


	3. FanFiction Update :3

Hey, update for on-hiatus stories! Here's the order of priorities in story updates from now on:

Metroid Retribution  
Heart of Greed  
RuneScape Wars  
Digimon Annihilation  
Fowl Play  
A Generous Bounty

Also, DigiDrew and I are planning a new Digimon story in the works, apart from the "Remedies for the Ill" series (which has ended by now due to unpopularity and general lack of interest). Stay tuned!


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